Thursday, February 09, 2006

The 11 best Cricket Sledges (and comebacks) in history

10. Rod Marsh & Ian Botham - When Botham took guard in an Ashes match, Marsh welcomed him to the wicket with the immortal words: "So how's your wife & my kids?"

9. Daryll Cullinan & Shane Warne - As Cullinan was on his way to the wicket, Warne told him he had Been waiting 2 years for another chance to humiliate him. "Looks like you spent it eating," Cullinan retorted.

8. Robin Smith & Merv Hughes - During 1989 Lords Test Hughes said to Smith after he played & missed: "You can't f**king bat". Smith to Hughes after he smacked him to the boundary - "Hey Merv, we make a fine pair. I can’t f**king bat & you can't f**king bowl."

7. Merv Hughes & Javed Miandad - During 1991 Adelaide Test, Javed called Merv a fat bus conductor. A few balls later Merv dismissed Javed: "Tickets please," Merv called out as he ran past the departing batsman.

6. Merv Hughes & Viv Richards - During a test match in the West Indies, Hughes didn't say a word to Viv, but continued to stare at him after deliveries. "This is my island, my culture. Don’t you be staring at me. In my culture we just bowl." Merv didn't reply, but after he dismissed him he announced to the batsman: "In my culture we just say f**k off."

5. Glenn McGrath to Ramnaresh Sarwan - "So what does Brian Lara's d*ck taste like?"Sarwan: "I don't know. Ask your wife." McGrath lost it: "If you ever mention my wife again, I'll F***ing rip your F***ing throat out."

4. Malcolm Marshall was bowling to David Boon who had played and missed a couple of times. Marshall: "Now David, Are you going to get out now or am I going to have to bowl around the wicket and kill you?"

3. Viv Richards v Greg Thomas - Glamorgan paceman Thomas had beaten the bat a couple of times and informed Richards: "It's red, round and weighs about five ounces, in case you were wondering."The very next ball was given the King Viv treament and smashed out of the ground, into a river - at which point Richards piped up: "Greg, you know what it looks like. Now go and find it."

2. Fred Trueman - While bowling the batsman edges and the ball goes to first slip,and right between Raman Subba Row's legs. Fred doesn't say a word. At the end of the over, Row ambles past Trueman and apologises sheepishly. "I should've kept my legs together, Fred". "So should your mother," he replied.

1. And of course you can't forget Ian Healy's legendary comment that was picked up by the Channel 9 microphones when Arjuna Ranatunga called for a runner on a particularly hot night during a one dayer in Sydney... "You don’t get a runner for being an overweight, unfit, fat c**t!!!"

0.Glenn McGrath v Eddo Brandes - McGrath was bowling to the Zimbabwe number 11 - who was unable to get his bat anywhere near the ball.McGrath, frustrated that Brandes was still at the crease, wandered up during one particular over and inquired: "Why are you so fat?"Quick as a flash, Brandes replied: "Because every time I make love to your wife, she gives me a biscuit."Even the Aussie slip fielders were in hysterics.

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